Lately I have been thinking about an old friend I had back from school. She didn't have an easy life to start with. Her Mom was in and out of jail for drug related convictions and her Dad was in his 60's raising his daughter and his Son and sadly failing. His son, Ricky, eventually moved out of his home and in with an Aunt and Uncle where it seemed his life was coming together in a wholesome christian values sort of way.
But things weren't the lucky for Crystal. She was your typical teen I guess, cared more about the boyfriend, the partying and could care less about the consequences yet some how we both connected and became good friends. At a few times in the friendship my Mom and various other family members wished I didn't hang out with her due to the "bad influence" they believed she was. And while she may have influenced big steps in my life, I wouldn't count that as bad. I would consider her my Best friend at that time, we lived 5 houses apart from each other and constantly hung out. I could by myself with her and whether I was into the same things as her or not, I was still accepted.
But then it happened, I was home in the basement on the computer and she came over to hang out, like we did most times. The conversation started casually but from her actions and lack of words I could tell something was wrong underneath. I asked her if she was okay and that's when she confided in me that on a couple occasions her Dad had come into her room when she was in bed and molested her. She told me each time when it was over he would walk away as if they simply had a "father to daughter" conversation and it was never spoken about during the rest of those times. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I believed her 100% I had no reason not to, I just didn't want this to happen to her on top of everything else. After we discussed it and I tried to tell her she had to talk to someone who could do something, she then made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone and said she would figure out a way to deal with it.
The following day at school I couldn't get it off my mind what she had said to me, the entire evening I wanted to tell my Mom but I made a promise not to. At the time I wasn't sure how my Mom could help let alone myself. I was distant from everyone that entire time in school. I saw Crystal a few times in between classes and put on a fake smiley face as to not upset her or give her any worries on my end. But I was worried, what she told me was beyond disgusting and it was hurting her. After a class instead of going to my lunch period I went to my counselor's office and told them word for word what she had stated to me. I know I promised and I wish I could have never made it, nor ever heard what she said but I did. With what I told the counselor they immediately phoned the police, my Mom, and Crystal down to the office. I was scared she was going to be there to face me after I had broken a promise.
The moment she walked in she knew what I had done and I just hung my head. I was afraid to look at her. While in there my counselor told Crystal what I had told him and asked her if what I stated was in fact true. To my surprise she actually admitted to it. He then had Crystal and I write down exactly what we had told him, by the time we were doing so the police showed up and the counselor talked to him outside of the office. While we were in there the two of us, I couldn't raise my head to look at her. I had failed her, is how I felt. The tears just streamed down my face and I muttered out "I'm sorry". She stated nothing more than "It's okay", while she too was crying. The officer then peaked in thru the door and asked me to talk to him in the other office. He basically wanted my story, how much I knew about Crystal and her Dad. I let it all out and told everything I could and knew. I had already broken the promise it would only hurt Crystal at that point to lie to the cop.
Shortly after that my Mom came in, immediately asking the counselor if I had done something wrong and that's when the officer told her what I had stated. My Mom's reaction was that of disbelief but at the same time she never did seem to trust her Dad for anything. After that the Counselor and Principle stated I was able to leave early if I wanted to, I stated I wanted to stay with Crystal but they told me that they needed to discuss it all with her and that if Crystal wanted me to be there later on or talk to her I could come back.
I didn't go back afterwards, I spent the remainder of the day at home, crying, feeling sick and just worried for what just happened to my best friend. Around 7pm that evening a cop car came to our house and Crystal was there, she wanted to talk to me. I apologized continuously and she just kept saying she wasn't mad. She stated she was going to an Aunt's till they were done investigating, the Cop told my Mom that her Dad wanted to know if we would let her stay with us during the time. My Mom said she had to think about it but later on the CPS changed their minds they didn't want her Dad at the time only 5 blocks from our house. I understood and even I was afraid to go outside knowing how close he was, and how angry I am sure I have made him. I just wanted to be near her, support her, and just make sure she would be okay.
Not soon after that the news spread like a wildfire. The Dad denied it, but CPS somehow felt the investigation was complete and founded. A few days later Crystal's stepmom went missing, we figured for the most part that she just left because she was in disbelief herself she had her own reason but we will never know. 3 days later her body was discovered, what was left, it turns out she stood in front of a train and killed her self. And that was my fault, if I had kept my promise the family would have still been intact and not the mess that I had created.
Crystal eventually just remained with her Aunt after that. I know she returned to her Dad when she turned 18 and was by his side while he passed away with cancer. Crystal and I had lost touch, last I heard though she was pregnant with her 3 child. I am sure she is a good mother no doubt but I am sure the experience she had to go through has left scars we may never see but will forever haunt her life. Her and her brother after that incident hadn't spoken to each other. He stated he was disappointed in her and so on. It's not a fair judgement for him to make.
I regret to this day for breaking that promise. What her Dad did was wrong but she trusted me and confided in me. And with that broken promise I ended up having a life in my hands I didn't think I would. It is my fault her stepmom killed herself if I hadn't spoken up she never would have known what happened, she would still be here. And apart of me wishes I could take it all back, kept the promise and allowed Crystal to deal with it when she was prepared. But it is all too late and it was too late before I ever spoke up.
And still all I can say is, I'm sorry.
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